This really connected with me. I struggle with the gulf between my ambition and my ability, my taste and my skill, all the time. Going to try to take this mentality of acceptance to heart!
Hey Celine! This really resonated with me. Just last night I felt the sudden and immense burden of lost time—all the books I hadn't read, all the hours I hadn't spent writing. Your piece reassures me that aspiration is not only a good indicator of an evolving aliveness, but the fuel on which a fulfilling writing practice runs on.
Brilliant, as always Celine!! The first part of aspiration reminds me of a substack blurb I read awhile back on acquired tastes. How an "acquired taste" means that we can still acquire it, and should aim to with effort. I really buy into this philosophy, of recognizing a a vague sense of something's importance and aspiring to acquire a full understanding/ appreciation. I read and take on projects with this mindset, that I'm in the process of acquiring a taste, meaning it's not natural and I never fully understand or even enjoy it- until one day, when I do.
Picked up L.A. Paul’s Transformative Experience from the library yesterday! At this point in life, I can attest to the time aspiring can take. I wanted to understand the inner value that people were clearly experiencing when I would read their thoughts on cooking. Because I find cooking boring, but food is a core human experience. It took 16 years of effort and a pandemic lockdown to have an inner experience while making dinner like I’d read about. Can’t say it’s lasted, but it was worth the effort to at least be capable in the kitchen now. Enjoying this series, and taking it to ponder on!
I related to so many points in this essay that it's hard to know what to say. For now, thank you for writing this. I am leaving with a reading list and another lens through which to consider my experience as an aspiring reader and writer.
P.S. I studied political theory in grad school and spent many hours with philosophy PhDs (even married one), you are so right about how gossipy philosophy departments are. Always so much drama!!! 😂 🤦🏻♀️
i went to an ocean vuong reading once over zoom and someone asked abt writing practices and being worried abt being pretentious .. and (im totally paraphrasing here) he said that being pretentious , really , is just having a pretense that u already belong
So much truth in this! Thank you. I will be rereading when work isn't calling - and grateful that I can now motivate myself to work on my own (unpaid!) for the sheer joy of it. (I'm not always so diligent!)
Just added 'Aspiration: The age of becoming' (Callard) and 'Long live the post horn' to my tbr after reading this. I really found solace in the parts about Callard as a beginner writer. I related to the part about aspirationally reading the new yorker. And to be honest I haven't read that muh philosopher, partially out of fear it would make me feel stupid or be boring. But I think its time I give it a try. Thank you for this article :)
Currently on the subway to my Meisner acting class, a two year program I’m about 5 months into. The work has me feeling exactly like this. Oftentimes I feel like such a loser, especially as this first year focuses on being your full self in imaginary circumstances. Being your full self without the learned habits/behaviors that we are taught that often betray the core of who we actually are. My work currently is not where I wanted nor expected it to be. However, it’s where I’m at, and I continue to show up for class, continue to stretch and work the muscles of imagination that have been stiff and neglected for many years. I must trust that my continuous showing up, regardless of how inadequate I feel about the work I do in class and rehearsals will get me to where I aim to be.
So glad I found your post this morning. Thank you.
This really connected with me. I struggle with the gulf between my ambition and my ability, my taste and my skill, all the time. Going to try to take this mentality of acceptance to heart!
Hey Celine! This really resonated with me. Just last night I felt the sudden and immense burden of lost time—all the books I hadn't read, all the hours I hadn't spent writing. Your piece reassures me that aspiration is not only a good indicator of an evolving aliveness, but the fuel on which a fulfilling writing practice runs on.
Brilliant, as always Celine!! The first part of aspiration reminds me of a substack blurb I read awhile back on acquired tastes. How an "acquired taste" means that we can still acquire it, and should aim to with effort. I really buy into this philosophy, of recognizing a a vague sense of something's importance and aspiring to acquire a full understanding/ appreciation. I read and take on projects with this mindset, that I'm in the process of acquiring a taste, meaning it's not natural and I never fully understand or even enjoy it- until one day, when I do.
Picked up L.A. Paul’s Transformative Experience from the library yesterday! At this point in life, I can attest to the time aspiring can take. I wanted to understand the inner value that people were clearly experiencing when I would read their thoughts on cooking. Because I find cooking boring, but food is a core human experience. It took 16 years of effort and a pandemic lockdown to have an inner experience while making dinner like I’d read about. Can’t say it’s lasted, but it was worth the effort to at least be capable in the kitchen now. Enjoying this series, and taking it to ponder on!
Wow I feel called out for that Ira Glass quote!
I related to so many points in this essay that it's hard to know what to say. For now, thank you for writing this. I am leaving with a reading list and another lens through which to consider my experience as an aspiring reader and writer.
P.S. I studied political theory in grad school and spent many hours with philosophy PhDs (even married one), you are so right about how gossipy philosophy departments are. Always so much drama!!! 😂 🤦🏻♀️
i went to an ocean vuong reading once over zoom and someone asked abt writing practices and being worried abt being pretentious .. and (im totally paraphrasing here) he said that being pretentious , really , is just having a pretense that u already belong
always stuck with me ! really loved this piece 💛
So much truth in this! Thank you. I will be rereading when work isn't calling - and grateful that I can now motivate myself to work on my own (unpaid!) for the sheer joy of it. (I'm not always so diligent!)
Just added 'Aspiration: The age of becoming' (Callard) and 'Long live the post horn' to my tbr after reading this. I really found solace in the parts about Callard as a beginner writer. I related to the part about aspirationally reading the new yorker. And to be honest I haven't read that muh philosopher, partially out of fear it would make me feel stupid or be boring. But I think its time I give it a try. Thank you for this article :)
Currently on the subway to my Meisner acting class, a two year program I’m about 5 months into. The work has me feeling exactly like this. Oftentimes I feel like such a loser, especially as this first year focuses on being your full self in imaginary circumstances. Being your full self without the learned habits/behaviors that we are taught that often betray the core of who we actually are. My work currently is not where I wanted nor expected it to be. However, it’s where I’m at, and I continue to show up for class, continue to stretch and work the muscles of imagination that have been stiff and neglected for many years. I must trust that my continuous showing up, regardless of how inadequate I feel about the work I do in class and rehearsals will get me to where I aim to be.
So glad I found your post this morning. Thank you.